The Best Part of the Summer

I have been looking forward to August all summer. This month is probably one of the best months on the calendar if you ask me. It's after all the summer celebrations and right before school starts. The wonderful smell of anticipation of the school year is such a sweet, sweet smell. People are moving out and moving in (myself included) and deciding who they want to be this time. Back-to-school specials are going on and the last minute vacations are about to have their last little run.

The best part of this month, is not just the fact that Michael Jackson's birthday and my sister's birthday are on the same day in August (August 29th). It's not even the fact that it is one of the warmest month on the calendar, north of the equator. It is the fact that it here and it is now. It's exciting and fun and full of joy. I can't wait to finish up my current projects and prepare for the rest. I'm so ready for everything that is about to come. Yay August!

The Miseducation of Myself

The idea of something being all about me is a difficult concept to grasp in a lot of respects. First of all, I am on the other extreme end of self-focused, which for the most part is a big problem for me. I am often choosing to do things that will be pleasing to others that I care about, even when there is no benefit for myself. And in most cases, during that time I could be doing something beneficial for myself. The greatest problem with this for me is the fact that I really don't mind much.

Because I get such satisfaction from helping others and making them feel better, it, in turn, makes me feel better. For that reason I will continue doing what I'm doing. However, there could be a different approach from time to time where I come first. Now that's a scary concept for me because I seem to be very indecisive. But deep down inside , I always know what I want I just choose not to voice that opinion with others for the fear of disagreement and frustration. It can be so much easier to just go with the flow.

I also struggle with taking the easy way out sometimes. In the instance of going with the flow, I am sometimes challenged in my needs and that takes away from my growth and development, which is something, in grad school and in life, that I am not willing to give up completely.

So, for the time being my personal goal is to concentrate more on my needs and wants and actually pursue them without any fear of criticism, disagreement or frustration. Hey, I hope this works!!

Chronic Love

A question was posed to me a couple days ago and up until this point I have not been able to answer it. What is chronic or inflamed in your life? 

The explanation of this question is something like, "What's picking at you, what never gets solved, what's that nitty gritty irritation that's always there?" One could look at this question and automatically think of something negative in their lives. In fact, that was my first reaction as well. However, as I thought about this question a little deeper I realized that what's chronic in my life is not negative. On the contrary, my inflammation keeps my going. I feel kind of silly phrasing it that way but it's the truth.

Anyways, I would consider my inflammation to be my family. That is the one thing in my life that is always in the back of my mind and the one thing that affects my in my entirety. If something goes wrong with my family, I try my best to be part of the solution immediately and not let the problem go on too long. If I cannot do anything physically, my prayers are sent out for them. I realize that I may not always be in town, but I do try my best to be there for them when they need me.